Why thinking is a bad thing

Advice from Mom
By Rita Lessard

Daylight saving time: is this a good thing or a bad thing? Whether it started in the First World War or it started the First World War, I don’t know. All I know is that we’re denied an extra hour of sleep. That’s not a pretty thing, especially in respect to my regular Monday morning customers. Most of them are a little cranky first thing anyway, so you should see them when they haven’t had enough sleep.
I think it all comes down to a lack of patience. They say the great thinker Socrates had a lot of patience, but I think Rodin’s model for the sculpture, The Thinker, had more. I have a lot of patience, but I don’t think I could pose in that position for too long. Brr! Get me my Snuggie already.
Most people today don’t have the patience for people who stand around thinking. For instance, when you come into Tim’s and you’re standing in line waiting to place your order, you’d think you would know what you want by the time you’re in front of me. Not necessarily true! Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s fine to be a thinker and stand around contemplating life, but the customers behind you don’t have the same patience as I do. Heck, it’s not as if I’m going anywhere.
I guess thinkers are a dying breed. At a stop light, when the light turns green, that’s no time to sit daydreaming or even thinking. When you hear that horn beeping behind you, you’d better get moving, sister! See what I mean? No patience.
There are so many places you have to stand in line and practice patience. In the bank and the grocery store, that’s a sure thing. For heaven’s sake, you don’t want to ever hold up the line thinking at an all-you-can-eat buffet. Geez, grab the check and go already. People have no patience when they’re tired or hungry, so quit your thinking and move on before you give yourself a headache.

St. Patrick’s Day
Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day, even though St. Patty himself wasn’t (he was a British missionary). For most Irish-Americans, this holiday is partly festive and partly religious. Many Irish came to Canada and the United States and brought their saint and traditions with them. In fact, today there are more people of Irish descent than there are in Ireland.
St. Patrick’s name is found all over Ireland, where it is used for town names including Kirkpatrick and Kilpatrick, and family names such as Kirkpatrick and Fitzpatrick. That name, Fitzpatrick, was my mother’s maiden name. Mom hated the colour green, and always told me never to buy anything green, but I couldn’t because green is my favourite colour.
The Irish, who have the shamrock as their symbol, believe good and bad things come in threes. Three tasks, three wishes, three brothers, three sisters. How odd is that? I come from a family of seven, and have three brothers and three sisters. Then mommy, daddy and baby make three.

Getting back to Irish names, sometimes Casey would upset me and I’d say, “Oh, Casey, stop doing that.” Guess I said it enough that some people thought his name was O’Casey, which is a great Irish name.

Inspired by the holiday
A man in New Zealand was arrested for setting his underwear on fire and riding through town on a motorized bar stool. The charge? Driving without a license.

A snatch-and-grab thief in London decided to see how much he could scoop from the display window of a jewelry store. But first he had to break the window, so he pried a manhole cover off the street and hurled it through the window. He grabbed the jewelry and took off running. He might have gotten away with this crime had he not fallen, you guessed it, down the open manhole.

They say you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, but what are you going to do with all those flies?
Happy 80th birthday to Joan Smith.