Fashion’s faux pas

Advice from Mom
By Rita Lessard

What’s with this weather already? A couple of nice, sunny days, and then it’s spoiled with cold and frost. Twice this past week I had to scrape the ice off my windshield. It’s half a wonder why people get sick when one day we’re wearing shorts and the next it’s back to the sweaters and winter jackets.
Well, we have to wear clothes anyway, but do you ever wonder why we do it to ourselves? Generation after generation of women has willingly exposed themselves to the high risk of pantyhose strangulation, girdle-induced respiratory arrest and turtleneck gagging. What kind of sick people punish themselves like this?
Men, too, continue to punish themselves. Just look at the necktie. Where did that idea come from? Perhaps from watching too many westerns? Some bright eyed designer must have been watching a hanging one day and thought, “Now there’s an idea that could really catch on!”
At least it stays tight. Contrast that with pantyhose, a nylon half-body suit that fits like a tourniquet but gradually loosens throughout the day until it folds at the ankle like ribbon candy? Not pretty, but we love it.
Spandex is another thing. I’ve seen both sexes wearing it, and believe me, I honestly think some people wearing it these days are seriously violating the spandex rules of engagement. You know who I’m talking about.
High-heeled shoes are another bad fashion idea. Backaches, bunions, sore feet, fallen arches, etc. Come on, people. Give it up! Sweats, socks, running shoes and sensible walking shoes are our reward for enduring decades of fashion abuse. Embrace them.
Bottom line is, clothes and other apparel shouldn’t punish us. I may be showing my age, but considering I just celebrated my 69th birthday, I feel I’ve earned that privilege. Even though people say I don’t look a day over 68, I am what I am. Thanks for the thought anyway.

Thank you to my husband, sons and daughters-in-law, my sister Joan, brother Peter and brothers Bill and Richard, as well as my friends Deb and Roy for the cards and gifts for my April 5th birthday. Your kindness is overwhelming.

Lighter notes
Someone once told me to marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so does his eyesight.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Overheard at Tim’s?
A woman walked up to the manager. “Are you hiring any help?”, she asked.
“No,” he replied, “we already have all the staff we need.”
“Okay,” she said, “then would you mind getting someone to wait on me?”