Watch what comes out of (and goes into) your mouth

Advice from Mom
By Rita Lessard

Brr! It’s been a long time since we’ve had a winter this cold. Perhaps that accounts for the bad mood many people have been in. It seems people have more to complain about when the weather is so nasty.
My mother never appreciated our foul moods or our whining and complaining. I can still hear her saying, “Quit your crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” Then came the Whack! I was smart; I learned to be the most cheerful of my mother’s children.
My sister’s mother in-law didn’t like people complaining, either. Her son – my brother-in-law – was a hard man to please, so he always had something to whine about. While he was still living at home and working, his mother would pack him a lunch every day. He especially liked bologna, but sometimes his mother had to give him something different when she ran out of that staple. Of course, whenever she put something different in his sandwich, she knew she was in for a hard time and a scream-fest.
One day, without bologna for his sandwich, she decided enough was enough; she would put his whining to an end. Blessed with a fine sense of humour, she grabbed a powder puff (those beige, rubbery makeup sponges) and put it between two slices of bread with all the dressings, and packed it with the rest of his lunch. I can only imagine his surprise and aggravation when he tried to sink his teeth into that lunch. That’s a good time to start making your own lunch!
While I’m on the subject, my sister had a co-worker who was a bit of a lunch thief, especially when it came to sweets. Whenever one of the girls brought sweets into work, the goodies would disappear. They couldn’t prove who was taking them, so they set a trap for the culprit.
The night before, one of the girls baked a bunch of brownies and used chocolate Ex-Lax for the icing sugar on the ones they were setting as a trap. The next day, sure enough, the fellow took the bait and grabbed all the goodies. After the Ex-Lax kicked in, he was mysteriously absent from work for a day or two. The “treat” either cleaned up him or cleaned his behaviour of stealing other people’s goodies.
Soon Easter will be here and I will have completed my Lenten fast of refraining from sweets. Yes! (Ed.: now I have an idea for a sweet “treat”)
Happy St. Patrick’s Day and Happy Easter to all.