Now where did I leave my…? Lessons in absent-mindedness

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

Absent-mindedness: I’m quite sure you’ve had occasion to experience this malady at some time or other in your lifetime. This problem has no age barrier – it happens to everyone.
Last garbage day is an example of my experience with preoccupation. I work at night now, so I put out the recyclables before I leave for work. This past Tuesday I made several trips. I usually put the garbage out when I get back because the dogs and cats will sometimes get into the garbage bags and make a mess. So after three trips I grabbed my purse and got in my car and I was good to go. I was about to look for my keys in my purse but my purse wasn’t anywhere to be found. Now I know I grabbed my purse, so back in the house I went, searching. After five minutes or so I was getting ticked so I went outside to look around. Then I thought, maybe it’s in the blue box. Well, hello, there it was – right at the curb where I put it. I shook my head and chuckled. You know what I mean.
This forgetfulness happens to other people too. When I worked at the local hotel I saw many sights. Picture this: a very inebriated lady came out of the washroom and unbeknownst to her she had toilet paper sticking out of her slacks. Believe me it happens. So being the concerned person I am I said, “Excuse me lady,” and I started to tell her she’s dragging, but since she was rather drunk she turned to me and said, “What the blankity-blank is your problem?” So I rolled back my eyes and said, “No problem,” and let her go on her way. Darn if that wasn’t a sight.
Tom can be absent-minded, too. After I spent several days in the hospital having our first son, Tom came to pick us up and take us home. Before we left we had to sign some forms and gather up our luggage and gifts, etc. I handed the baby to Tom for a minute while I made some last minute arrangements. For some reason or other Tom set the baby on a nearby bench (as usual I wasn’t paying that much attention). After a while we were ready to go. Out we marched to the car. Tom helped me in and put the luggage in the trunk, and we were good to go. Wrong! I turned to him and said, “Pardon me, are you forgetting something?”
He looked around like he had lost his keys and said, “I don’t think so.” I replied, “You fool. What about the baby?” Although he can’t run very fast today he certainly had the ten-yard dash down in no time that day.