Still going: “I don’t feel a day over 65”

Advice from Mom
By Rita Lessard

As some of you may know, I celebrated my 67th birthday on April 5, and although I’m aging, it’s really not so bad. As long as I am able to get up in the morning and take nourishment, it all works out; the prunes help a lot, too.
My young friends at Tim Horton’s are usually concerned about me because I’m still working, and they are always asking me when I’m going to retire. I smile and my response is, “If I can help it, never.” I really enjoy being occupied, and until I find something better do to with my time, I’ll just stay put, and since I don’t feel a day over 65, my young attitude sees me through the good and the very seldom bad times.
I find as of late that I am shrinking; I view that as a good thing. Since I am the oldest and slowly getting to be the shortest at work, this definitely works in my favour because, unlike my younger counterparts, I have no problem retrieving dropped things, whether I’ve dropped them or not. It seems I’m the only one who has the strength and the aerobic ability to do this task. Don’t get me wrong, the young people I work with are super; they just don’t have the experience or stamina to keep up. I’m confident, however, that once they reach my age, they’ll be in shape and perhaps as capable as I am.
I would like to take the time to thank my family and friends for all the birthday cards and presents. I especially want to thank my sister Joan (who is always so generous) for the trip to Toronto to see Dirty Dancing, and also to Sid Reaburn, who shared in this gift. We all had a wonderful time, and dinner after the performance (which took place in a train car), was simply delicious. As usual, we ate too much; oh well, back to the gym (or Tim’s) for a week to work it off.
Thanks also to Marg Clarke (such a lovely person), who sent me a lovely card and an angel pin for my Tim’s hat.
Think of Grace
As a final note, it has been brought to my attention that Grace Hodgins appreciates your thoughts and phone calls. If you know Grace, she would love to have you drop in and visit with her in her home.

Until the next time, stay – and think – young, wear your support hose, and invest in a good pair of shoes. You’re going to need them if you want to keep up with me!

Send a thought to: mom at grandbendstrip.com or P.O. Box 218, Grand Bend, ON N0M 1T0

Watch what comes out of (and goes into) your mouth

Advice from Mom
By Rita Lessard

Brr! It’s been a long time since we’ve had a winter this cold. Perhaps that accounts for the bad mood many people have been in. It seems people have more to complain about when the weather is so nasty.
My mother never appreciated our foul moods or our whining and complaining. I can still hear her saying, “Quit your crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.” Then came the Whack! I was smart; I learned to be the most cheerful of my mother’s children.
My sister’s mother in-law didn’t like people complaining, either. Her son – my brother-in-law – was a hard man to please, so he always had something to whine about. While he was still living at home and working, his mother would pack him a lunch every day. He especially liked bologna, but sometimes his mother had to give him something different when she ran out of that staple. Of course, whenever she put something different in his sandwich, she knew she was in for a hard time and a scream-fest.
One day, without bologna for his sandwich, she decided enough was enough; she would put his whining to an end. Blessed with a fine sense of humour, she grabbed a powder puff (those beige, rubbery makeup sponges) and put it between two slices of bread with all the dressings, and packed it with the rest of his lunch. I can only imagine his surprise and aggravation when he tried to sink his teeth into that lunch. That’s a good time to start making your own lunch!
While I’m on the subject, my sister had a co-worker who was a bit of a lunch thief, especially when it came to sweets. Whenever one of the girls brought sweets into work, the goodies would disappear. They couldn’t prove who was taking them, so they set a trap for the culprit.
The night before, one of the girls baked a bunch of brownies and used chocolate Ex-Lax for the icing sugar on the ones they were setting as a trap. The next day, sure enough, the fellow took the bait and grabbed all the goodies. After the Ex-Lax kicked in, he was mysteriously absent from work for a day or two. The “treat” either cleaned up him or cleaned his behaviour of stealing other people’s goodies.
Soon Easter will be here and I will have completed my Lenten fast of refraining from sweets. Yes! (Ed.: now I have an idea for a sweet “treat”)
Happy St. Patrick’s Day and Happy Easter to all.

45 years of blessings

Anniversary a time to reflect on the joys of life

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

February is the month for love and sweethearts as we celebrate Valentine’s Day this week. February is also the month Tom and I celebrate our anniversary, celebrating 45 years February 8th. I imagine in this day and age, that’s quite a feat.
Tom and I got married in Germany, where Tom was stationed with the army. We had to get married twice: once at city hall (the legal ceremony), which we did in the morning, and then the religious ceremony in the afternoon.
We did have a few snags that day. For instance, I forgot to order the flowers, the bakers dropped the cake, and Tom dropped me when he was carrying me over the threshold I only weighed 105 lbs., so I don’t know how that happened; maybe it was the champagne or the beer, which were very cheap in Germany. As a matter of fact, liquor was cheaper than coffee in those days.
Despite the rough start, through the good and bad, sickness and health, richer or poorer, we’re still together.
We’ve had many blessings over the years, and the best of all was the great gift of our five sons, Tom, Glenn, Mike, Bill and Casey.
When Tom Jr. was in university and short on Christmas funds, he made us three family albums and described all of his brothers as he perceived them.
Casey was labeled Mr. Brain; when you look at Casey, you can see in his eyes his intelligence and the joy and happiness he has and gives to people.
Bill was Mr. Hockey or Mr. Sports; Bill loves sports and he was and still is quite an athlete. There was a time when I think he wanted to be a professional hockey player, but in the end he decided on a career in computers.
Mike was Mr. Lover. Mike loves life, and he especially loved the women; as a matter of fact, he had a girlfriend in kindergarten (Marion Steffans), who was the light of his life. Mike is always smiling and when you’re talking to him, even his voice smiles. From the time Mike was only a few days old, he smiled all the time. I kid you not! Maybe he was a comedian in a former life.
Glenn was labeled Mr. Ambition. This is very true; Glenn was always a hard worker and never afraid to get his hands dirty. When he was 10 years old, he helped me clean offices in Huron Park and in the summers, we cleaned the college for the hockey school. He made some money and that made him happy. By the time he was 17, he bought his own car with his savings. Although he was a metallurgist when he came out of college, he ended up in the banking business, which proved to be quite profitable. Tom was right when he said Glenn was Mr. Ambition because as of today, he has owned and sold six houses; not too bad for a 43 year old (as of February 19).
Tom described himself as an all-around great guy (Editor’s note: of course!), and this is so very true. Tom was my first child, and one of my greatest joys. Tom loves to play games; from the time he was 13 years old until he was 19, he played scrabble with me three or four times a week. He was always a good sport considering I beat him a lot. He’s gotten smarter over the years and I imagine it would be quite a challenge to play him today. Tom’s a super dad, a sweetheart of a husband, a great son-in-law (according to his father-in-law), a very kind, gentle, giving and caring son, and I might as well throw in handsome and distinguished man, too. So yes, an all around great guy.
So much for all of the sweethearts in my life. Happy anniversary Tom, happy birthday Glenn, and happy Valentine’s day to all of you!

Out with the old, in with the new

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

I hope your Christmas went well. Tom and I were fortunate to celebrate on two occasions: once at our son’s place, whose wife is a great cook; and at my brother’s home, where we had another good meal and lots of fun. Of course, that’s what Christmas is about: family and merriment.
I received many lovely gifts. Casey thought I gave him some very useful presents, one being a new iPod. This surprised him because he hadn’t asked for one; I made a mistake when writing down his list. I didn’t know he already had one, and I bought him one that was better. I suggested he could take it back, but he decided to keep it, which was good for me because he gave me the one his brother gave his last year; I’m happy because I use it everyday when I go for my 3km walk.
I wonder sometimes if all the noise and sounds we hear have any bad effects on our hearing, but for centuries we’ve all had occasion to have what we call selective hearing. For example, how is it that the kids can always hear the ice cream truck coming up the road, yet they can’t hear you when you need the garbage taken out or the dishes done? Deaf again! If you were to pass gas a hundred yards away, you can bet your pay cheque they’d hear that.
As we welcome in the year 2008, let’s hope that by now most of you are not struggling with New Year’s resolutions. May I suggest that, instead of aggravating yourself with resolutions, you just resolve to do things one day at a time? Just for today, live the next 12 hours and tackle one problem for that day and not a whole year of problems. Just for today, learn something useful and make a change just for that day.
Although I’m giving this advice, I must confess I told my coworkers that this year I was going to be less critical. Hopefully I can stick with this resolution. Aim for the short-term instead of the long-term.
Regardless of the promises you’ve made to yourself, let’s hope 2008 will bring health and success to you all.

P.S. Thank you to the Crediton firemen for putting up the Christmas lights in the park.

The pleasures of Christmases past

Advice from Mom
By Rita Lessard

I really love Christmastime. Unfortunately, we celebrate it in a season that, at times, is not so pleasant, especially when the snow is flying and the visibility is so bad you end up in the ditch, which is what happened to my sister and me on Monday, December 3. Fortunately, a Good Samaritan from Hensall came by and gave us a ride to Huron Park, where we made arrangements for a tow. Thank you, kind sir.
I can easily forget about the weather and concentrate on this glorious and happy occasion. As the years go by and we are getting older, times change but our memories are still with us. The hustle and bustle I experienced when the boys were young are no longer. I have many good memories, so I will share a few with you.

When your kids outsmart you
I always considered myself a fairly smart person, but when you’re smart and have children, they tend to be smart, too. As it turns out, some of them can outsmart their parents.
I’m not saying all of my sons were devious, but our son Mike was always curious and he outsmarted me every year when it came to peeking at the Christmas presents. Every year I would use a different mode of operation. I’d hide them, but he’d find them. Then I changed tactics and used different coloured paper for each kid or I would number-code them or letter-code them.
Well, none of these methods worked. Mike didn’t care that I was so smart and organized because he didn’t really take the time to figure out what I was doing; he just opened all the presents and saw what everyone was getting and rewrapped them. I didn’t learn this until many years later, but I can honestly say I had fun trying to outsmart him, and I miss the excitement of doing all that shopping and gift-wrapping. Now our Christmases are more sedate but fun and the memories are still good.

Watch out for that tree
Putting up the tree was always a fun family affair; it wasn’t always a masterpiece, but it was the joy of doing something together. The one year, we were a little concerned about putting the tree up too soon because we had a cat and we figured it would either knock all of the bulbs off or, worse yet, just knock the whole tree down. We’re a trusting family, so we decided to give the cat a break and put up the tree anyway. Now Tom, our wise leader, didn’t agree and thought we should wait until Christmas Eve so the tree would be safe. This was one argument the kids and I won; the tree went up early and we were in the spirit of Christmas.
A week before Christmas, all the decorations were on the tree and the house was decorated and all was going just swell. Tom decided to celebrate early and shared some Christmas spirits with the neighbours. It was rather late when he got home, and being the considerate guy he is, he didn’t want to disturb us non-partygoers. He sneaked into the house and kept the lights off. He didn’t need to worry because the cat was there to guide him through with his watchful eyes. (I’m told cats can see in the dark, so like they say, Lead on MacDuff, and the cat did.) Soon enough, we heard this awful crash and it wasn’t Santa. No, it was Tom toppling into the tree. Holy cow, wasn’t that a sight? I got up to investigate and sure enough, the fool was ensconced in our lovely tree. I helped him up and he grinned sheepishly. I said, “I guess you were right, Tom, about putting the tree up so soon.” In the years after that, we didn’t have the cat, but Tom was still around, so we had more fun Christmases to look forward to.

On a final note, I noticed that our little village of Crediton doesn’t have its tree decorated and our Santa and reindeer aren’t up this year. It was lovely to look out my window and see this display. Thanks to Jordy’s, we have a wreath erected on her sign. Maybe if I talk to the right people, we can do something festive next year.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to one and all. Thanks for taking an interest in reading Casey’s paper (I love that man) and see you next year!

Too old for winter; plus thanks for fundraiser support

Advice from Mom
By Rita Lessard

I don’t know how everyone else feels about winter, but as far as I’m concerned I am not really looking forward to it. I’m not sure when this all came about, but it probably started when I realized that those fancy high-heeled shoes had to be replaced with the more sensible oxfords, the lovely shaping nylons had to be traded in for support stockings, and of course, there’s the cutesy bikini underwear that was taken over by the nice warm bloomers. So you can see where I’m coming from; yes, it’s called getting older, dear.
Getting old is inevitable, and since I’m in pretty good shape, I’m sure I’ll be fine, but as far as winter goes, if we prepare for it, maybe we will manage.
Here are some tips to consider:
- Take care that your car is properly equipped with the necessities in case you get stuck in bad weather. Examples: blankets, flashlights with batteries, candles, matches, booster cables, extra clothing, sand, salt, non-perishable food, etc.
- Get a tune up as soon as you can, and always make sure you’ve got plenty of gas in your tank.
- I suppose a cell phone would also be handy. I don’t have one, but Christmas is coming, so maybe someone will surprise me.
- Perhaps you’ll want to check your shovels or snowblower out also. Either way, keep safe and stay out of the ditch.

Hint: As I was struggling to open my door, which had frozen up, one of my coworkers suggested I put vegetable oil on the rubber on the inside of my door so I’d have no problem opening it. This seals out the water. Try it!

Thanks for all your support!
Sorry that my article is a little brief, but I wanted to concentrate on a more important issue, that being my thank you to my friends, neighbours and area business owners who made Tom’s benefit dance such a success. The support and kindness we received was incredible.
First and foremost, I would like to thank Debra McNair and Corry Price for organizing the event, the Huron Park-Centralia Lions Club for sponsoring it, and Li’l Audrey for providing the great music.
These businesses donated their support: Canadian Tire, Exeter; Iceculture, Hensall; Hansen’s Independent, Exeter; Scotty’s Pizza, Huron Park; Exi-Plast, Huron Park; Gnutti, Huron Park; Fast Photo, London; Country Corners, Exeter; Gar’s Bar, Exeter; Hayter’s Turkey Products, Dashwood; Foodland, Exeter; SAAN, Exeter; Aunt Gussie’s, Grand Bend; Bob’s Advanced Auto, Crediton; Jordy’s, Crediton; Malibu Restaurant, Centralia; Exeter Lions Club.
The following people donated money or prizes: Mike & Val Lessard, Sue and Wayne Foote, Doug and Keli Nethercott, Frank and Bridgitt Dubarry, Herman and Joan Minderlein, Pat Gray, Nancy Zettel, Bob & Millie Lessard, Bill & Anne Lacourtois, Brenda & Dave MacDonald, Deb & Doug Mason, Sid & Jeff Reaburn, Jeff & Jamie Weir, Rosemary Stewart, Tim Glavin, Ken Jones, Gary Sauder, Diane & Yvonne Wells & Lisa, Terry & Corry Price.
Thank you to all the people who helped at the door and with games, lunch and at the bar.
Special thanks to my sister Joan McCullough, who is way too generous with her help and kindness.
Last but not least, to Casey, who provides me with the opportunity to thank everyone in his paper.
Thank you all for your kindness and support. Thank you very much to the people who attended or bought tickets to the event. I apologize if I have missed anyone; to everybody who contributed, your efforts and time were greatly appreciated.

Thank you,
Tom and Rita Lessard

Hit the ice, granny

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

With all of this nice warm weather we’re experiencing, you would think that a winter sport such as hockey would be the last thing on our minds but since we usually spend money for the kids when they go back to school, we might as well add to that the expense of hockey registration.
I don’t imagine families do any fundraising to offset the cost of registration, which in turn pays for ice time and other hockey needs. Fortunately for us, when our five sons were playing we had a fundraising committee that raised lots of money that helped out a lot.
These days, I realize parents haven’t got the time or the energy to raise money in the fashion that we did. Although I was always at the arena, I never quite watched a complete hockey game. Usually I was working in the food booth, but that wasn’t my only excuse. Once the fans got going with their screaming and hollering, I couldn’t stand it and I would make myself scarce.
I realize hockey is a rough sport, but fans are sometimes more violent than the players on the ice. I remember one game in particular when we experienced the wrath of the fans.

Coming out swinging
(Note: names have been changed to protect individuals’ identities)
Jack’s parents and grandparents never missed a game. They really enjoyed watching Jack play and he was a very good player but they got a little carried away with their screaming and hollering. Grandma was the worst. She was quite feisty and she really didn’t appreciate it when Jack was in a scoring position and a player took a penalty to foil him. Joe seemed to be in the penalty box a lot, which wasn’t always a bad thing because most of the time he was there for stopping Jack from scoring.
This time, granny notices Joe’s jersey number after one such incident, and her vindictive mind brews a plan.
Granny waits a little bit until the game is over. As always, when the game is over, it is a custom for the players to line up and shake hands in a friendly manner; all things good or bad are forgotten. Not quite this time.
All of a sudden, Granny makes an appearance on the ice heading straight for Joe. Holy cow! With her purse as a weapon, she gets on the ice and starts swinging like Willie Mays. Since she doesn’t have skates on, she’s not too steady on her pins and eventually she goes down. She ended up breaking her wrist and she was taken off the ice on a stretcher - screaming, of course. We couldn’t shut that woman up.
If you can imagine how shocked we were at this performance, the fact that she was wearing a skirt when she went bottoms up was quite comical. Not too pretty!
Although Joe was startled, he wasn’t hurt. Grandma ended up getting a penalty: she wasn’t welcome at any more of Jack’s games.

Reach out and touch someone
You know, it truly is amazing how times have changed. I was listening to the news the other day and in some schools, the kids are not allowed to touch each other in any manner – no embracing, no hand shaking, no playing tag. It saddens me to think my grandchildren are denied this act of affection. If that were the case in the real world, I’d probably be locked up by now. I encourage you to take a chance and hug somebody today.
And remember, keep your stick on the ice and granny off the ice.

You won’t hear from mom for a while - not because she’s locked up, but because the Strip doesn’t publish again until Nov. 21. Read more advice then.

Keep it clean, boys

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

Thanksgiving – what a great holiday. This is a wonderful time of year to celebrate and reflect on all the many gifts and blessings we have received throughout the years. Since I’ve lived quite a few years, my blessings have been numerous.
I am especially thankful for my neighbours, my first family, friends, and last but not least, my husband and five sons.
My siblings – whom I consider my first family – are very special indeed. I keep in touch with my brothers and sisters as much as I can. My sister Joan, who lives in Shipka, is very kind and generous to Tom and me, so to her I say thank you on this Thanksgiving Day.
A couple of months ago, I was talking to my neighbour and she was quite astonished that I had raised five sons and lived to tell the tale. I told her that having five boys was the best thing that ever happened to me.
“Well,” she said, “I had two sons and I find that boys are so dirty.”
My response to her was, “Yes, you’re probably right, but I made sure that my guys were clean as they had to take a bath or shower every night,” to which she said, “Whatever!”
I think the idea of taking a bath every night backfired on my son Glenn on one occasion. Glenn and Tom Jr. (my oldest boys) had an opportunity to visit and have a camp-out at a neighbour’s farm. Since we’re basically town folk, this was quite an adventure.
Instead of having their bath the night before, I made the boys take their bath before they left for the farm. Tommy was okay with it, but Glenn put up quite a fuss. He insisted he was going to get dirty anyway, so what was the point? I prevailed and the boys were freshly bathed when they set out.
When they got to the farm with a group of other kids, they were quite excited to see the animals and the farm machinery and the rest of the makings of the farm. After they were there they were allowed to explore a bit, which was a lot of fun.
Glenn decided he’d like to go up in the hayloft and see how that felt, so up he went. He got walking around and everything seemed fine. Then, all of a sudden, he stepped in a hole and fell through the loft into the cows’ toilet. He was covered in manure.
Was he ever ticked! Glenn thought he would get dirty at the farm, but not this way. When he came out of the barn smelling like dung, the kids thought it was quite funny. Off he went to the bathroom for - you guessed it – another bath.
So yes, boys do get dirty, but you can always clean them, and this is another thing I am thankful for.
Count your blessings this year, and be ever so thankful today and every day.

Legends of the fall

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

Fall - what a great time of the year. Not too hot, not too cold. Standard time is approaching and thus we’ll fall back an hour. The word fall is used in so many ways, for example, fall in love, fall out, fall from grace, fall back, etc. This column will address the physical act of falling.
Tom has had many falls in his lifetime. My first experience with Tom’s falling problem was when he was attempting to carry me over the threshold. Isn’t that the perfect time to trip and fall? I only weighed 105 lbs. at the time, so that couldn’t have been the problem. I ended up falling on top of him, and I think the fall knocked him out. I ended up dragging him over the threshold – there was no way he was going to get away from me. I was a little feisty even at that time.
When we moved to Huron Park, Tom would ride his bike back and forth to work or to the local pub and he sometimes didn’t get home in one piece. He was in and out of the ditch; I believe he had a balance problem. One Friday night, I was watching TV with the kids and we heard this big bang on the side of the house. Sure enough, it was Tom on his bike, so I said to the kids, “Your father’s home.” The kids looked out the window and said, “Yep, you’re right, mom.” He seemed to be fine, but I suggested he should either get his brakes checked or his eyes checked.
After we had five kids, we needed a bigger house, so we moved across the street to a four-bedroom. The layout of the new house was a little different. In the old house, the bathroom was on the main floor, but in the new house the bathroom was upstairs. The night before we moved in across the street, Tom and a couple of our boys decided to camp out in the new house (they slept in sleeping bags in the living room). It was Friday night, so Tom was a little tipsy. In the middle of the night, Tom woke up and had to go to the bathroom. Thinking he was in the old house, he made a left and then a right turn to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately, in the new house, this was the way to the basement. He opened the door and stepped in, or rather dropped in, because the next thing he knows he’s falling down the stairs. I swear Tom has seven lives because all he got out of the fall was a bloody nose. He did manage to get back upstairs without peeing himself and went back to sleep, not going to the bathroom until the next morning. Amazing!
One more story about falling: my friend, who has false teeth, was out shopping in the mall one day and was checking out the cosmetics and smelling the various perfumes. Suddenly, she had a sneezing fit, and before she knew it, her teeth fell out of her mouth. As the kids say, wouldn’t that bite? Hoping no one noticed, she delicately picked them up and went about her business.
I hope you enjoy this nice fall weather and if you have to fall, do it on your knees in church, where at least you have padding.

Now where did I leave my…? Lessons in absent-mindedness

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

Absent-mindedness: I’m quite sure you’ve had occasion to experience this malady at some time or other in your lifetime. This problem has no age barrier - it happens to everyone.
Last garbage day is an example of my experience with preoccupation. I work at night now, so I put out the recyclables before I leave for work. This past Tuesday I made several trips. I usually put the garbage out when I get back because the dogs and cats will sometimes get into the garbage bags and make a mess. So after three trips I grabbed my purse and got in my car and I was good to go. I was about to look for my keys in my purse but my purse wasn’t anywhere to be found. Now I know I grabbed my purse, so back in the house I went, searching. After five minutes or so I was getting ticked so I went outside to look around. Then I thought, maybe it’s in the blue box. Well, hello, there it was - right at the curb where I put it. I shook my head and chuckled. You know what I mean.
This forgetfulness happens to other people too. When I worked at the local hotel I saw many sights. Picture this: a very inebriated lady came out of the washroom and unbeknownst to her she had toilet paper sticking out of her slacks. Believe me it happens. So being the concerned person I am I said, “Excuse me lady,” and I started to tell her she’s dragging, but since she was rather drunk she turned to me and said, “What the blankity-blank is your problem?” So I rolled back my eyes and said, “No problem,” and let her go on her way. Darn if that wasn’t a sight.
Tom can be absent-minded, too. After I spent several days in the hospital having our first son, Tom came to pick us up and take us home. Before we left we had to sign some forms and gather up our luggage and gifts, etc. I handed the baby to Tom for a minute while I made some last minute arrangements. For some reason or other Tom set the baby on a nearby bench (as usual I wasn’t paying that much attention). After a while we were ready to go. Out we marched to the car. Tom helped me in and put the luggage in the trunk, and we were good to go. Wrong! I turned to him and said, “Pardon me, are you forgetting something?”
He looked around like he had lost his keys and said, “I don’t think so.” I replied, “You fool. What about the baby?” Although he can’t run very fast today he certainly had the ten-yard dash down in no time that day.

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