Now where did I leave my…? Lessons in absent-mindedness

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

Absent-mindedness: I’m quite sure you’ve had occasion to experience this malady at some time or other in your lifetime. This problem has no age barrier - it happens to everyone.
Last garbage day is an example of my experience with preoccupation. I work at night now, so I put out the recyclables before I leave for work. This past Tuesday I made several trips. I usually put the garbage out when I get back because the dogs and cats will sometimes get into the garbage bags and make a mess. So after three trips I grabbed my purse and got in my car and I was good to go. I was about to look for my keys in my purse but my purse wasn’t anywhere to be found. Now I know I grabbed my purse, so back in the house I went, searching. After five minutes or so I was getting ticked so I went outside to look around. Then I thought, maybe it’s in the blue box. Well, hello, there it was - right at the curb where I put it. I shook my head and chuckled. You know what I mean.
This forgetfulness happens to other people too. When I worked at the local hotel I saw many sights. Picture this: a very inebriated lady came out of the washroom and unbeknownst to her she had toilet paper sticking out of her slacks. Believe me it happens. So being the concerned person I am I said, “Excuse me lady,” and I started to tell her she’s dragging, but since she was rather drunk she turned to me and said, “What the blankity-blank is your problem?” So I rolled back my eyes and said, “No problem,” and let her go on her way. Darn if that wasn’t a sight.
Tom can be absent-minded, too. After I spent several days in the hospital having our first son, Tom came to pick us up and take us home. Before we left we had to sign some forms and gather up our luggage and gifts, etc. I handed the baby to Tom for a minute while I made some last minute arrangements. For some reason or other Tom set the baby on a nearby bench (as usual I wasn’t paying that much attention). After a while we were ready to go. Out we marched to the car. Tom helped me in and put the luggage in the trunk, and we were good to go. Wrong! I turned to him and said, “Pardon me, are you forgetting something?”
He looked around like he had lost his keys and said, “I don’t think so.” I replied, “You fool. What about the baby?” Although he can’t run very fast today he certainly had the ten-yard dash down in no time that day.

A new reason to wear clean underwear

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

Laundry problems – I’m sure we’ve all had them to some degree or other.
For instance, how is it that we always seem to lose one sock or forget to take things out of the pockets? And how in the drying process do socks and underwear end up in your pant legs? Who knows!
Since last October, my husband Tom has had some major problems with his right leg, and with all the pain and suffering he had to go through it was a very trying time. The end result was the doctors decided to end the pain and amputate his leg on July 7. Tom is doing very well and now he’s ready to have an artificial leg.
On Thursday we had a meeting with a group of people to get him into Parkwood hospital so the process of getting him fitted for a new leg can begin.
We had a question and answer period and filled out a bunch of forms and the group explained what we can expect once Tom is in the hospital. Once the technical stuff was done, the doctor wanted to see Tom’s stump.
Tom was wearing long pants and on the stump part he had the pant leg pinned up – all his pants are now like this – so he unpinned the pants to show the doctor his stump. As he did this, a piece of material fell to the floor.
Since everyone was talking or looking at the stump, nobody paid any attention to what was on the floor. Nobody, except of course me, but I was distracted by the nurse who started asking me something. Suddenly, the doctor looked down and asked, “What is that?”
Tom thought he was talking about his stump and it kind of fazed him, but I spoke up and said, “Is that your underwear, doctor?” He replied, “I don’t think so.” Then Tom looked down and said, “That’s my underwear. How did it get down there?”
Meanwhile, everyone was choking with laughter. Tom was undeterred as he delicately bent over and picked up the underwear and stuffed it in his pocket.
I apologized because I do the laundry so it was my fault the underwear got stuck in the pant leg thanks to the pins. At that point, it didn’t really matter because everyone wanted to leave to laugh out loud.
The doctor finally got a hold of himself and said, “Well, I guess you’re good to go.”
All in all, the meeting went well. As soon as a bed becomes available, Tom will be admitted, and I’m sure he’ll be in a ward this time. Good luck, Tom.

Did Tom deserve award?

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

Nurses deserve a lot of credit. They’re doing the best they can. Sometimes I’m sure their patience is stretched with some of their patients. I say, keep up the good work.

A model patient
Since Tom has been in and out of the hospital for the last five months (eventually losing his leg below the knee due to circulation problems), we’ve witnessed all the good work nurses do. I suppose it helps if the nurses have great patients like Tom; at least, Tom said that the nurses were singing his praises as a very nice patient and they were sorry to see him leave.
On the ride home from his surgery, Tom said he was surprised he didn’t get an award.
I thought that was a little much. I’m sure he wasn’t so special that he deserved an award. I asked him, “Why would you get an award?”
He said, “Well that’s what I wanted.”
I said, “Well, not everyone gets an award. That’s stretching it.”
Tom said, “Yeah, but it’s very lonely in a room without other people.”
That’s when I realized he wanted in a ward, not an award. I almost peed my pants, I was laughing so hard.

Honesty is the best policy
Honesty is the best policy, but I’ve never understood the impulse to be honest when it serves no purpose other than to hurt someone.
Say, for example, your friend is showing off her new baby and this child is as ugly as dirt. Surely, you’re not going to tell her that! Better to say, “How lucky for you. I hope he’s healthy.” Now isn’t that better?
Sometimes people want you to be dishonest. Another example, my friend purchased something at the store and when she got her change back, the cashier had made a mistake in her change to my friend’s advantage. She told the cashier this and the cashier responded very indignantly, “I don’t make mistakes.”
So my friend walks away, but she feels bad and puts the extra change into the box for the poor at the church.

Lessons in honesty
Be honest with your kids and they will trust you.
Be honest with your boss: eight hours pay equals eight hours work.
Bosses: If an employee has the decency to give you notice of resignation, resist shortening their remaining hours as revenge. You can be honest, too.

Kids: slow down this summer

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

I hope you’re all enjoying your summer holidays. I suppose you’re out there swimming and playing different kinds of outdoor games and sports. Not to be a nag, but I truly think it would be a good idea for you to take a break now and then from the physical exercise to get some mental exercise. Grab a favourite book or two and read, even if the books have a lot of pictures. I used to read comic books; I don’t know if they’re that popular today. Regardless, grab anything with the written word and enjoy it. If you’re reading this, you’ve obviously got the idea. You might just find something of interest elsewhere in here for you.
Please keep safe and remember safety, especially if you’re around water. Always swim with a friend.
If you’re a bike rider, my friend Alice McNair tells me that kids and adults tend to ride on sidewalks or the wrong side of the road. She’s among many who find this irritating, so if you have access to a bicycle path, please use it. Some older people have a low patience threshold. I think mine has been tested in the last few months, what with the heat, sitting in traffic because of the construction in Crediton, and helping take care of Tom; I may just lose it one of these days! So far, so good, but look out – I may just blow!

You can write Rita at: mom at grandbendstrip dot com

How to recognize your friends

Advice from mom
By Rita Lessard

One night (a long time ago) I was out with my girlfriends and I ended up at the Dashwood Hotel. This was my first visit to this hotel so I wasn’t familiar with the layout. After enjoying a few drinks I needed to use the washroom and I asked my friends where the women’s room was. They pointed to a hallway. When I got there both signs said men’s.
Apparently the “wo” fell off the women’s room but I remembered the girls had said it was the door on the right. I went in and was confronted with an unusual looking toilet. Determined to figure out how to use the contraption, I backed up into this thing (without removing my clothes) to see how it would fit if I sat down. As I was doing this, a guy walked in and said, “Do you realize that this is the men’s washroom?”
I had to think fast so I said, “Of course. I’m just in here making sure everything is in working order.” I marched myself out of there, back to my so-called friends who were laughing their guts out.
I guess the moral of this story is to look before you pee or is that look before you leap?

Hint for hot day
When you go grocery shopping, take a cooler with ice in it so you can keep frozen and perishable food cold.

Food safety tips
Harmful bacteria can be on any food. To prevent this follow these steps:
1. Chill food as promptly as possible.
2. Clean your hands and kitchen surface often.
3. Separate foods. Don’t cross-contaminate.
4. Cook thoroughly. Use a meat and poultry thermometer for your own safety.
- Sheila Tiedeman

How to have a good summer: advice from mom

By Rita Lessard

I hope you proud Canadians have a great July 1st. We have so much to be thankful for; I especially enjoy my freedom.

Now that the nice weather is here you have no excuse not to get in better shape. Walking is the easiest form of exercise and the cheapest; start out slow. Cycling is also good. Make it a family activity.
No sitting around watching TV. Save that for a winter sport. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables and buy locally.

Parents: Want to keep tabs on your kids, especially around water? Tie bells on them. I used to tie bells on my kids’ shoes so I always knew where they were. Mind you, you might want to get rid of them when they are about 16… the bells, I mean. Then again, maybe not.

Congratulations to all you scholars out there, I hope you all did well. At least if you did your best, that’s progress. There’s always next year.

Advice for Students:

Stay in school as long as possible. Get a degree. Consider a trade school - people are crying for tradespeople.
P.S. If you want to enjoy your summer, don’t ever tell your parents you’re bored. They’re bound to find something you’d rather not do.

How to be a good father - advice from mom

Compiled by Rita Lessard

Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there, especially to Tom and my sons Tom, Glen, Mike and Bill.

Fathers: Don’t wait until you’re a grandfather to enjoy children. Wake up and smell the diaper and change it! Make changes in your life early. You’ll never regret it.

Mothers: Don’t ever say, “Wait until your father gets home.” My mother always said that and I grew to fear my father. My father died when I was 13 and I never did get to know the true man.

Respect your child, listen to your child, and discipline your child. Explain to your child why you want them to do certain things and don’t say, “Because I said so.”

Pet Peeves

People who don’t use the left turning lane when they want to turn left. Instead they stay in the driving lane and hold up traffic.
- Deb McNair

Pet owners who don’t clean up after their dogs.
- Alice McNair

People who drive behind you with their high beams on. Try driving behind a cop car doing that and see what happens. I assure you, you’ll get pulled over.
- Anne LeCourtois

Knuckle crackers, nose pickers, and body grabbers (their own, of course). What’s with these ball players always grabbing their crotch and spitting?
- Joan McCullough

Tailgaters-Either pass or back off. If I can see your eye colour you’re way too close!
- Diane Faubert

Service people who chew gum when they are serving you. Food and beverage people are the worst. For heaven’s sake lose the gum. You look like a cow chewing its cud. Not pretty!
- Rita Lessard

Joke of the Week

It was a lovely summer day and my new sister - a five year old from Romania - was helping in the garden. As we worked she practiced her English by heartily singing songs she’s been learning from children’s TV shows.
“You sing wonderfully.” I remarked. “Someday you can sing at my funeral.”
“Sure,” she eagerly replied. “Can I sing, ‘It’s a beautiful day in the neighbourhood?’”
- Josh Siemen, Reader’s Digest

Uses for Vinegar

- Before conditioner, use vinegar and water to rinse your hair.
- Wash your windows with vinegar and water – it’s cheap and streak-free
- You can also keep glassware dishes from streaking by adding 3 tablespoons of vinegar with your detergent. Wash glassware separate from dishes.
- Earl Proulx, Yankee Magazine

Helpful hint

Having a hard time getting a lid off? Try rubber gloves or sandpaper. It works for me.

What I’ve learned - advice from mom

Compiled by Rita Lessard

Natural flea busters
How it all Vegan cookbook
Brewer’s yeast: 1 tsp or 1 tablet a day. Note: some animals are allergic to brewer’s yeast; watch for itchy patches. Consult your vet.
Garlic: Most animals love garlic when mixed with food.
Calendula ointment or oil: An excellent repellent that helps with itching.
Vinegar: A ratio of 1 tsp of vinegar to 4 cups of water in their drinking water helps keep your pets free of fleas and ticks.

Flea Pet Spray
This spray is a natural way to eliminating fleas that is not harmful to humans, pets or the environment.
1/4 tsp eucalyptus or wintergreen essential oil
1 cup water
Add oil to spray bottle filled with water.

Spray your house with a fine mist - the carpet, furniture, car, pet’s beds - everywhere. Fleas hate the aroma and run for cover. Spraying your pet is also a great idea. Spray areas three times a week all year round, but especially during summer, the peak flea season.

Stress busters
Do your best, then stop – Maybe somebody else could do better, but don’t worry about that. Realize that sometimes your best is the best you can do. Don’t worry about what somebody else thinks.
View problems as opportunities – If you’re stressed out because of a problem, see it as an opportunity. For instance, whenever my husband needs me to do something, instead of seeing it as a stressful situation, I see it as an opportunity to help him.
Make someone laugh – Laughter is the best stress breaker, absolutely. If I’m laughing I’m not under stress, and it really is good for me and others. I like to make people laugh; it relieves my stress and it relieves theirs too.

Quotes of the week
Intelligence: Spotting a flaw in a boss’ character.
Wisdom: Not mentioning it.
- Vernon McLellan, Wacky Wit

You know how people always say the customer is always right? Well, after 35 years of serving the public, I can hardly wait to be a customer. Just to be right once.
- Rita Lessard

What I’ve learned – advice from mom

By Rita Lessard

How tea bags can help you

For dry skin
Bathe in green tea. Just throw a few tea bags under a running faucet and the antioxidants will rehydrate your skin.

Tidy cats
Allow used tea bags to air-dry, then add the contents to kitty litter. Tea’s antibacterial properties neutralize odour.

Natural deodorizer
When cooking with fish or garlic, wipe the palms of your hands with wet tea bags after handling the food. Odours will disappear.

No more rust
After washing, wipe cast iron pots and pans with used tea bags. The tannins in the tea create a rust preventing layer.

- From Women’s World magazine

Stress busters

Review your purpose – remember why you are doing what you’re doing.
Take stretch breaks – if you’re overwhelmed, take five minutes to walk the dog or smell the coffee (that’s easy for me because I work at Tim Horton’s).
Listen to your intuition – there have been times when I have wondered what to do in a situation and I trusted my intuition. It’s always worked for me.
Rub your feet and hands – there are points in your feet and hands that, when rubbed, will relieve stress. I tell the girls at work to do this when they have headaches. I do it, too, because I know it works.

Quotes of the week

You make a living by what you get, but you make a life by what you give. – Anonymous
Live to learn and you will learn to live. – Portuguese proverb

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