Sissy pirates, frightened cops and a silly major general

The Pirates of Penzance
Written by W. S. Gilbert
Composed by Arthur Sullivan
Directed by Susan Ferley
Grand Theatre High School Project
Grand Theatre, London
September 23 to October 4, 2008

Live! On Stage!
Review by Mary Alderson

Gilbert & Sullivan were masters of the comic operetta in 1870’s England. So popular were their shows, that American producers were stealing their works and putting them on stage in the United States without giving Gilbert & Sullivan any credit or paying any royalties. Thus, the writing team decided to create a show about pirates and open it in America, to send a not-so-subtle message about the piracy of their creative material.
Gilbert & Sullivan would be proud of the version now on stage nearly 130 years later at the Grand Theatre in London. In the famous song “I am the very model of a Modern Major General”, the lyrics are indeed modernized for this production. The Major General talks about text messaging and Facebook, suggesting Google Earth be used to track down weapons in Iraq. In acknowledging the internet, the modern Major General is ironically saluting the greatest of all vehicles for piracy.
But more important than any moral message is the comedy. This is the Grand’s High School Project, where a large cast and crew are brought to the professional stage straight from area secondary schools. The young people on stage have the advantage of working with a professional director, choreographer and music director, while those behind the scenes work with professional set, costume and lighting designers.
The fun begins right away, when the large family (23 to be precise) of young girls decide to “paddle” their toes in the ocean. They are all dressed beautifully in delicate creamy white gowns. But when they lift their long skits to take off their shoes, each girl is wearing different brightly coloured striped and printed stockings.
In contrast to the young ladies’ pale ivory gowns, the pirates appear dressed in vibrant colours. When the pirates and the girls mix and mingle, the effect of the costumes is stunning.
Once again, Director Susan Ferley has assembled an amazing cast of high school students and worked wonders with their talent. The young female voices together have beautiful harmony. Soloist Alexandra Smither as Mabel has an amazing voice and also demonstrates excellent comedic ability with very expressive eyes. Also possessing strong and beautiful voices are Evita Trembley as Ruth, Shauna Yarnel as Edith and Amelia Galizia as Kate.
A. J. MacDonald handles the tongue-tripping Major General’s song in astonishing fashion, and Jordan Campbell demonstrates solid acting and singing skills as Frederic. Micah Richardson is outstanding as the Pirate King, and Oscar Morena is excellent as Samuel.
The police, led by Nicholas Borg as the Sergeant, add to the hilarity. The assortment of sizes as they arrive on stage starts the laughter, and their ballet keeps the audience in stitches. Credit goes to choreographer Amy Wright for creating all the comical movement.
The use of puns and misunderstandings to create comedy has withstood the test of time. Across the audience, adults were chortling, while beside me, a 12 year old was giggling with delight. At the same time, the young actors’ friends were filling the theatre with cheers – the teenagers in the audience thoroughly enjoyed seeing the silliness on stage. Like an old Wayne & Schuster sketch, Gilbert & Sullivan are still funny.
This production is good Gilbert & Sullivan – it is not just good for being high school kids, it’s good theatre.
The Pirates of Penzance continues at the Grand Theatre in London until October 4. Tickets are available at the Grand box office at 672-8800 or 1-800-265-1593.

Mary Alderson offers her view of area theatre in this column on a regular basis. As well as being a fan of live theatre, she is a former journalist who is currently employed with the Ontario Association of Community Futures Development Corporations.

Down the drain

View from the Strip
By Casey Lessard

It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but – like it or not – Grand Bend area residents will soon be tying into a municipal sewage system. Many people aren’t aware of the impending costs that are associated with the process, but with figures in the tens of thousands of dollars, they need to start planning now. Perhaps you’re one of them.
Crediton faced this crisis two years ago, and the fallout still has residents talking. Just recently, they faced a deadline to pay cash (about $10,000 per lot plus hookup costs) or face mandatory financing at more than five per cent for 20 years; many thought the day would not come, and missed an opportunity to reduce their costs by finding private financing on their own.
While you can’t stop the provincially mandated process that is well on its way, if you live in the area affected by the proposed sewage system (Grand Bend, St. Joseph, and Dashwood), you can start saving your pennies and talking to your bank. The cost isn’t set yet, but you can bet (based on other communities’ experiences) it will be in the five-figure range for most. Do you have that kind of money underneath your mattress? Didn’t think so.
The situation is worst for the residents of Dashwood, who will have to pipe their waste into Grand Bend, and it’s quite a distance. The cost to do so will be between 20 and 30 per cent of their home values for many.
Home values will increase accordingly, residents are told. Tell that to homeowners in Crediton, where home values haven’t changed much and the home sales market is flooded. Don’t be surprised if you see the same situation in Dashwood some day soon.

Reader: Focus on federal issues

Remember what each level of government does

To the Editor,
With a federal election campaign now underway, it is an ideal time to draw attention to what each of our three levels of government is supposed to be responsible for, so candidates and leaders will not discuss with voters those things that are not federal areas of jurisdiction.
Health care is not a federal responsibility, and it would be grossly misleading for Canada’s federal politicians to campaign around the nation promising all sorts of money for, and improvements to, each province’s health care system. With the dozen recent deaths linked directly to the listeriosis crisis, the federal government ought to be focusing its Health Canada resources on areas it is responsible for, such as improving the inspection of Canada’s meat industry in the interests of public safety.
Medical wait-times are something the provincial governments must tackle. Federal parties should only be promising the transfer of taxes collected on behalf of the provinces, with no strings attached, and nothing more. Provincial health ministers must be given the room to maneouvre they require in order to ensure the availability of adequate levels of health care services for their residents.
Inner city safe needle injection sites, highway and other infrastructure projects, industrial and labour policies, energy, educational scholarships: These are all provincial jurisdictions. The federal parties have a bad habit of stepping on the toes of the provinces - especially at election time - in order to grab the attention of voters.
There is no shortage of purely federal issues to discuss: the war in Afghanistan, international trade agreements, the federal debt and taxation levels, the Canadian dollar and its impact on Canada’s - and in particular Ontario’s - economy, criminal justice, the successor to the Kyoto Accord and Canada’s poor environmental record, global warming and sovereignty issues in the Arctic.
So Mr. Harper, Mr. Dion, Mr. Layton, and Ms. May, let us please confine ourselves to federal political issues. There is plenty of meat on that bone for you all to chew on.
Brad Harness
Leader, Reform Party of Ontario

When Harper touts his leadership, be afraid

Alternative View
By Gloria Martin

In the Sept. 10 Strip, Casey Lessard made comment that he feared a majority government in the federal election, and that, although he couldn’t quite put your finger on it, he “just doesn’t trust him (Prime Minister Stephen Harper).” I have to admit that I resonate with that fear, but I think with good reason.
First off is the fact that we are facing an early election despite Harper’s own pronouncements to the contrary; he says one thing and does another. Second, we have a prime minister who does not respect the will of Parliament by disregarding a majority vote in the house: the vote taken on allowing Iraq war resisters to stay in Canada. Having refused to participate in an illegal war not sanctioned by the United Nations, a war which has committed serious human rights violations, left countless untold dead, with lives and communities utterly destroyed, Harper continues to deport these courageous resisters back to the United States to face prison sentences. This is in spite of the fact that a majority vote was taken in the House of Commons to let them stay. Make no mistake: Canada would be fighting in this Iraq war if the Conservatives had their way.
Perhaps this is why Harper is so insistent on supporting another very unpopular war in Afghanistan. Canadians have heard the pleadings of voices like Afghan’s former MP Malalai Joya urging us to stop supporting her government, one of the most corrupt and criminal governments in the world – a gang of druglords and warlords, many of them wanted for human rights violations. She has told us that 60% of the Afghan people consider this government to be the worst in two decades. She reminds us that it’s a proven fact that no nation can liberate another. Liberation must be achieved by the people themselves – others can only provide support. The majority of Canadians want to support the troops by bringing them home, but Harper is determined to keep them there and watch as many of them return home in body bags. I was proud to call myself Canadian because we were a peacekeeping country concerned for human rights and people in crisis. Now we are involved in a war and supporting a criminal government. Would Harper follow the US in a war against Iran? His actions thus far suggest he well might. He seems more intent on impressing the Republican government than the Canadian people. We need to read the writing on the wall before it happens.
Last but not least is Harper’s reneging of the Kyoto Accord. Faced with the biggest crisis of all time he would rather point a finger at China than take full responsibility for our significant part in the global environmental crisis. Our very life on this planet depends on us taking urgent measures now. Now is the time for strong leadership on this matter because we don’t have until 2050! So am I nervous about the outcome of this election? Very! And with good reason.
For more information please go to www.youtube.com and watch Malalai Joya on Democracy Now! 19June07; Malalai Joya on ABC program on Afghanistan; War Resisters Supporter Catches Up With Stephen Harper; Canada’s Parliament votes to let U.S. War Resisters stay.
Gloria Martin is a Parkhill resident.

John Mason’s Last Stand

The Dashwood resident isn’t eager to tie into Grand Bend’s sewage line. Are you?

Story and photo by Casey Lessard

Sewage collection system information session
Tuesday, September 30
7 to 9 p.m. - Grand Bend Public School

Standing in front of a lagoon that currently services the sewage waste of 1100 residents, John Mason wonders how these same lagoons east of Grand Bend will hold the waste of 11,000 in 2031. Yes, there will be a new sewage treatment facility at the site (once the tri-municipality consortium of Lambton Shores, Bluewater and South Huron approves it), but the Dashwood resident questions the decisions that are leading to the future he fears.
“People are upset,” Mason says. “I had a neighbour come over the other night crying; she can’t afford to keep going right now, let alone have a $26,000 sewage bill to tie in. Then there’s the $150 monthly cost. Mother Nature is doing it for free right now (Dashwood is on septic). They’re just putting undue hardships on everybody.”
Since the Walkerton E. coli tragedy, wastewater at all Ontario lagoons (Grand Bend’s was installed in 1979) must be treated through a treatment plant. Following Crediton’s and Hensall’s lead, Dashwood, St. Joseph and Grand Bend must now convert from septic to sewage with a plant at the present lagoon site on Mollard Line.
“Last year in Hensall, the costs that were presented to us then were $26,000 for each lot in Dashwood to tie into the system,” Mason says, “but that’s at today’s rates and we might not tie in for 10 or 12 years. Who knows what the price will be then.”
Mason is concerned that not everyone in the project’s zone is aware of the fact that they’ll be paying big money to tie in.
“Along the lake it’s $24,000 each to start,” he predicts. “A 3,000 gallon tank is $5,000. The other tank is $5,000. Plus they have to tie in from the road, so all told it’s about $40,000 per lot from St. Joseph to the Pinery.”
Lambton Shores community services director Peggy Van Mierlo-West says she can’t confirm a projected per household cost because the firm handling the project, Dillon Consulting, is not finished its proposal and has not set a cost estimate.
“They are working on that right now,” she says, “so I don’t know where people are coming up with those numbers.”
Mason figures that with Dashwood home values in the $150,000 range, it’s not a stretch to suggest that most families there will have to refinance their homes or move.
“We recently put my mom in a home, so we have her home for sale. It’s 30 years old, brick with a full basement on an acre lot. Double-car garage. We got an offer on it the other day for $147,000. A house just like it just sold in Exeter for $349,000. Wait until we get assessed for sewage, and we won’t be able to give this house away.
“Dashwood’s the last teepee standing, where we can live cheaply. Where are our poor people going to live? The Bible says, ‘The meek shall inherit the Earth.’ Where are we meek going to live?”
Mason has some solutions that could help pay for the project. They include making such infrastructure expenditures tax deductible; offering government loans at the prime rate; and canceling the project by diverting the affluent to fertilize trees at the Pinery.
The public input phase for the tertiary plant is complete, Van Mierlo-West says. Promoted as a superior environmental alternative, the new facility would use top of the line technology, including UV radiation, to purify water and eliminate not only bacteria but also nitrates and phosphates, along with any toxic materials residents put down their drains. Solar, wind, and geothermal technology would help power and heat the plant.
The lagoons on Mollard Line currently drain into the Shipka Drain, which feeds the Parkhill Creek, which takes the water to Lake Huron south of the pier. While the new system will manage 10-times as much water, Van Mierlo-West says it will reduce the amount of waste that goes into the lake – by a long shot.
“It doesn’t eliminate the risk, but it reduces it most drastically. Very low actually,” she says. “We’re sizing it for that capacity, and we’re looking at a method that will have the water treated by UV light before it’s released.”
The September 30 meeting is a chance for residents to tell Lambton Shores council which system they want to transport the waste from their home to the plant. The two options are: gravity to a municipal pumping station; and privately powered pumps that force the water into the main pipes. With the first system, small buildings with control panels will be erected in strategic locations; with the second, each homeowner will pay hydro to pump the waste out.
“We haven’t made a decision yet on which method we’re looking at,” Van Mierlo-West says, noting the cost for each will be presented at the meeting.
After receiving more than 100 comments from the last public meeting, Van Mierlo-West is eager to see a strong community turnout; community associations in Southcott Pines and Huron Woods, among others, are encouraging residents to attend the meeting.
“A lot of people are going to be showing up for this meeting,” she says. “It’s nice to know there’s interest in this project. If there wasn’t, I’d be worried.”

The new boss at NMDHS

Devon Weeden
Principal, North Middlesex DHS
Raised: Kingston
Lives: London
Experience: Napanee, Strathroy, Glencoe, Saunders (VP), Arthur Voaden (VP). This is first principal position.

Coming to North Middlesex
It is a big change. I’m looking forward to working with the community and the kids. I’m working on the school improvement plan with the staff. There have been lots of things since I’ve arrived. We have been working on the Grade 9 successful start program, where kids come in and meet with the Student Administrative Council and Marauders Athletics Association. They’ve learned about transition and using the library as well.

New this year:
I’m interested in working collaboratively with school council and as part of our school improvement plan, we’ll be working on merging the board goals with our tailored goals here.

Focus for the year:
We’re taking a very active role to improve student learning. The goal statements we’re merging are to improve student learning, reduce identifiable instruction gaps, and to increase graduation rates. We’re putting a large amount of effort into our Grade 9 successful start program so they earn their eight credits for the year and they’re in good stead for the remainder of their high school career.

To students:
My overall vision is that we’re all people first and nothing is insurmountable.

To parents:
We’re all working together. At school, it’s not only about the curriculum, but also the leadership skills and the opportunities to be exposed to different things.

Outside of work:
I don’t have a lot of hobbies because school keeps me busy. I like to be physically active and on weekends I bicycle through the Springbank Park system. It’s a gorgeous area and a great opportunity to stay in shape and spend time with friends.

Urban vs. rural:
There’s a connectedness here. Urban kids have access to different things, but here people are very supportive of each other.

Falling for you

Advice from Mom
By Rita Lessard

The word fall has so many meanings. As the season turns, we can look forward to the changing of colours and the cooler weather. In its other form, the term is not as pretty as the season. My little friend Garrett Steffler had a fall last Thursday and the doctor glued the cut together. It’s amazing what they can do today to lessen the occurrence of scars. My guys were not so lucky as every one of them has at least one scar.
This falling business must be hereditary. My mother, for instance, was a fallen woman; no, that’s not right – I should say she fell a lot. That’s better.
My mother used to wear high-heeled shoes and a long fur coat, and I do believe that was her major downfall. I think her troubles started when she was about two years old and she fell down a flight of stairs and broke her nose; I think she tripped over her diaper that time.
It’s not exactly hereditary that my husband Tom has fallen and broken his nose several times, but our son Tommy had a broken nose and two black eyes when he got hit by a swing at the age of two. Falling backward, he also got a crack on the back of his head as he landed on a rock. Talk about bad luck!
Having children is the greatest thing, but this is one project that doesn’t come with a manual of instructions. It’s relatively simple when they are small babies; if all goes well, you just feed them, water them, and then you can put them down to rest. Once they get on their feet, however, you are presented with a whole new ball game; that’s when the fun begins in earnest.
I realize that young mothers are anxious for their children to grow up; be patient and enjoy them when they are small and having small troubles, because the bigger they get, the bigger the trouble.
So take heart Ashley (Garrett’s mom): your son will be fine and hopefully not have too many falls. You can take heart in the fact that Tommy’s fall didn’t do too much damage: he graduated at the top of his class in Grade 8, and while accepting awards at graduation, didn’t fall off the stage once.
(Editor’s note: Mom, you forgot to mention the scar on my forehead, a result of Bill pushing me into the dining room cabinet at age 3. I can still remember the bloody drive to South Huron Hospital and Dr. Gans stitching me up. Ah, the memories!)

Toilet humour

What to do when you have to go

Keeping the Peace
By Tom Lessard

At Protective Plastics Limited in Huron Park, we built fiberglass reinforced plywood panels, roofs, and doors for the trucking industry. You didn’t need to be on dope to work there because after a day in the plant you were pretty well flying.
As in other companies, PPL had its share of entertainers. For instance, while standing atop 50’x11’ roofs, grinding at the excess resin, all of a sudden the air supply would stop. You’d check the grinder and the hoses and then holler for someone to turn the compressor back on. “It is on,” someone would reply. It wasn’t until you were frustrated that someone would pop up from under the trolley that the mold was on and yell, “Surprise!” The son of a gun was under there crimping the hose to stop the air supply.
Over in plant #5, there was only one washroom. One morning about an hour in the shift, one of the employees had to go. He got to the washroom only to find it was occupied. He told the occupant repeatedly to hurry up, but to no avail. He finally couldn’t wait any longer and ran to the next building to do his business. The stall stayed occupied all day meaning that the others had to travel to do their thing. When you looked under the stall door, there was a pair of boots with coveralls down on the top of them, so you surmised that it was truly someone in there.
What had happened was a prankster entered the stall and placed the boots and coveralls to look as though there was someone there, locked the door and crawled out underneath and went to work.
Another time, he put a pair of boots at the toilet facing the back wall, took off the tank cover, disconnected the water hose so that the water kept running (to make a sound as if someone was urinating), exited the same way as before and carried on as if nothing was amiss.
There are many humourous stories of the fine crews that made their living in those plants in Huron Park, and the atmosphere was such that you were happy to get to work each morning to find out what was going to happen that day.

Cauldrons, murders and unkindnesses

Living in Balance
By Jenipher Appleton

It is commonplace for us to refer to certain groups of animals by their correct term: herds of cattle, schools of fish, pods of whales, swarms of bees, litter of puppies, etc. In the avian family, the names for species groups are indeed quite unique, if not intriguing. Three group names are stated in the title of this article.
Bird groups are often named by more interesting terms than ‘flock’. In many cases the group name is more appropriate than one might think. A few examples are highlighted in the ensuing paragraphs.
One might wonder why a group of raptors (hawks for example) would be called a ‘cauldron’. Perhaps these adept hunters had been historically associated with witches’ brew. Wrong. Upon some investigation I learned that the term refers to migratory behaviour. In the autumn when massive flocks of raptors take off from the ground, the spiraling funnels of thousands of birds resemble kettles or cauldrons. Makes sense.
A ‘murder’ of crows is another term that conjures up macabre scenes of ghosts and haunted houses. Again, the group name is based on crow behaviour. Crows are known to fly in large mobs in order to harass other birds, like hawks and owls. Mob mentality frequently ends up in murder. Hence the group name.
Similarly, a group of ravens is referred to as an ‘unkindness’. The ominous appearance of this bearded black bird, with its raucous voice was highlighted in Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven”. It is featured in mythology worldwide. The raven is the cleverest of birds and has been known to steer a hawk to a rabbit (which the hawk kills) and then chase the hawk away so the raven can have his lunch. The hawk would call that ‘unkind’.
Eagles have long been admired for their soaring spirits and have been used as symbols of wisdom and determination. They are always at the top of the food chain. Sports teams and universities often use the eagle image as a logo or mascot. The link to higher education may explain the group name ‘a convocation of eagles’.
A group of peacocks is known as an ‘ostentation’. The reason is obvious when one thinks of the ostentatious strutting of the males, parading their coloured fans for the females. A ‘gaggle’ of geese simply comes from the burbling sound made by a passing flock. A group of hummingbirds is known as a ‘charm’. Everyone is charmed by the beauty of this tiniest of birds, delicately sipping nectar from a bell-shaped flower.
Other examples include: a bevy of quail, a bouquet of pheasants, a company of parrots, an exaltation of larks, a pitying of doves (yes the cooing is pitiful) and a herd of cranes. Try applying these terms next time you see a ‘flock’ of crows or migrating hawks. You may get some strange looks, but you will be the wiser.

New music school focuses on band experience

Music is a big boost for a child’s learning and self-confidence, and that’s why Ken Dinel hopes his new Grand Bend music school, The Band in You, will take off locally. Confident it will based on similar schools he has seen as a recording industry professional, Dinel is putting the finishing touches on a home studio that will house six students at a time in a real band situation.
“Each student has their own instrument and practices independently, and then they just jam,” Dinel says. “That’s how I got hooked on music, and that’s the biggest thing. You have to get children hooked on the instrument because it’s hard work at first.”
Students will learn with others their age, and will record an age-appropriate song with their peers.
“Seven to nine year olds may want to do Hannah Montana, and the older kids may want to do Nickelback. As long as the song is something they can handle and the parents consent to the song, that’s the song they’ll do.
“Really it’s about having fun. We’ll start simple at first with three chords, but they’ll know they’re playing that song.”
Classes are $20/hour, and will run for two to three months starting the week of September 30. To register, call Ken Dinel at 519-851-7013 or email thebandinyou (at) hay.net.

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